What should I do if I am being abused?

• You should not be afraid to ask for help.

• You should talk to someone that you trust.

• Help is available.

If you are feeling: Intimidated, isolated, dominated, or obligated to do something you don’t want to do, it is not acceptable and no one deserves to feel like this.

What are my rights?

In each situation the response/answer to the problem may be different, but it is important to know that:

• You have a right to live without fear.

• You are not to blame for the violence or the threats.

• You have the right to a safe, healthy environment and healthy relationships.

• You have the right to control your own life and make your own decisions.

Why would someone stay silent?

• There is a fear that by speaking or taking action, things will get worse.

• They may feel embarrassed to say that a family member or trusted friend has been taking advantage of them.

• If they have lived with abuse for a long time, they may feel that they deserve it.

• Abuse may be thought of as normal in their family environment.

• They may fear that no one will believe them.

• They may want to protect the person abusing them (spouse or child) from prosecution.

Important questions to consider

If you are not sure of the risk to you, here are some questions to ask yourself. Be honest about your answers. The answers to the questions will then help you decide what to do. Also, talking over your answers with someone you trust will help.

What is it that is happening to you that hurts you (this could be emotional or physical)?

• How often and how serious is the hurt that happens (is it life threatening)?

• What is the likelihood of the hurt continuing and getting worse?

• What is the chance that the hurt will also affect or upset others?

If you want to leave

This is a time of emergency. Call the police at 911 and get their help. Even if you have a friend who will help you or you have a place to go, get assistance from someone who can protect you.

No matter how conflicted you feel, remember you can love the person who has hurt you even though you do not like the way they treat you.